Blog#5 - So you wanna Propose huh? - Santano!

So you wanna tie the knot huh you sly fox?

NO DON'T DO IT. RUN. FAR.

... Ha,ha... nevermind that, marriage can be awesome,

So you're moved past the point of all human rationality and intelligence and decided that marriage is for you, and I cant dissuade you no matter what I saw, and you want advice? Well first up there are several ways to propose the destruction of your relationship:

Unsolicited Proposal:

So you're been watching here for months now. You know here eating habits, when she showers, and what type of perfume she wears (lavender, mmm). You know you're the best fit for her, all those others aren't even close to your standard of Doritos and soda. If she'd just give you a chance you'd give her an inescapable bond that would last a lifetime. But how??? Now you can! An unsolicited proposal allows you the super creepy chance at love! Just send her your proposal gift-wrapped and totally unasked for! She'll be so impressed she'll accept you on the spot! She knows she loves you! She just needs some.. convincing.

Solicited Proposal:

She wants you! Oh my lord she actually- hold my beer so I can give you a hug brother she asked for you specifically! I mean of all the guys she could have asked to help her with her assignment she asked YOU! CLEARLY THIS MEANS MARRIAGE! Ok so.. alright so yeah maybe she did ask a couple other guys.. and girls.. but CLEARLY THIS IS A CHALLENGE. Nothing comes easy my friend and she knows you are her one and only! but how can she be sure if she doesn't make you defeat all these other imbeciles first! You must beat them to the chase good sir! Your proposal must be top notch and awesome! All others must cower in fear of it! She will be yours and you will write that essay for her like she has never been written... seen written... uh... you will write.. uh.. give me back my beer.

Internal Proposal

So... you guys are together.. you already have a steady, working relationship. Almost like a business partnership. Almost like you're working in the same company or something. Yet, she asks.. your permission? This is... rather strange. Here I was giving you advice for proposing and she proposes to you. Huh. Weird. This is clearly a trap. Usually when proposals come from internally like this it's some kind of ploy to get money or get permission to do something weird. Tell her no. Always tell her no. No to everything. You're the man, you make the proposals around here! .. Pass me back my beer.


External Proposal

Well, I've never been big on polygamy but, sure. OK. A foursome huh? Oh my bad, I meant a four way marriage. You want to.. Propose.. to merge the businesses. Sure. Well, external proposals are all about convincing others to get into stuff with you, so if you want to do this extremely stupid thing you're proposing, go right ahead. Hey where do you get all this bad advice from anyway?



Proposals are all about convincing others to do things they usually have no reason to! Like marrying you! So go ahead! Relationships are like business, cold and unrelenting! So go convince those girls to make terrible life decisions!